RECAP: X Factor Provides a Viral Sensation

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The show opens up with a clip of their number one claim to fame (kind of) One Direction! Has someone made a drinking game for X Factor yet? Cause there should be one, and anytime there’s a mention of One Direction, a shot should be taken.

Anyway, X Factor has become predictable and just one look at Melanie Wright already told me she was going to be bad. Wearing a blue dress and gloves that looked straight from “Romie and Michelle’s High School Reunion,” 48-year-old Melanie told the judges she was going to sing “Titanium” by David Guetta. Cue the fast forward button since this schtick is not even funny anymore.

Fast forward to Emery Kelly, who is “hoping to turn things around.” (Take another shot for that line.) And since he’s an adorable, charming kid, he probably will in the eyes of the judges. The 15-year-old sang “I Won’t Give Up” by Jason Mraz, which had the young girls squealing. Emery’s voice had a nice tone, but lacked any sort of control. This was enough to warrant yeses from all four of the judges.

And to follow the pattern X Factor has set up for itself this season, Khaya Cohen had to sing a second song for her audition because choice one was not a good fit. Song number two led to redemption, although she looked incredibly bored performing, but she still received praise and yeses from the judges. Woo.

Fast forward again through a guy with a squeaky voice who, again, is already set up to be a failure. James Keeny, a super cute, likeable Dad from season one made it through to the next round with four yeses, as all the others have. Five clips of other contestants who made it through were quickly shown, and interestingly enough, some of them had the best voices in the competition so far. They probably didn’t have “unique” backstories, womp womp womp.

Thirty-one-year-old, David Gray (no, not the singer David Gray) gave a horrible audition, which revealed to only have happened as support for his “serious singer” girlfriend, Lauren. (Yeah, makes no sense). Lauren was up next, and gave a pretty awful audition, as well. But all was good when David came out to propose to his girlfriend before the judges could critique the performance. She said yes, which is good, since the judges all said no.

Tim Olstad sang a really beautiful rendition of “A Thousand Years.” While the performance wasn’t perfect, probably due to his nerves, which also made his hand shake incessantly, the “boring” (Demi’s words, not mine) guy showed a rich tone unlike many in the competition thus far. Demi redeemed herself and told him he doesn’t need to be “edgy,” and that she “gets it.” Okay.

Wesley Mountain was nervous for different reasons. When he hit the stage, he immediately began to giggle, due to his huge crush on Kelly Rowland. His nerves quickly faded and he became a creepy, panting, teenage boy. He performed, and surprisingly, wowed the judges. His voice was not impressive, barely okay, and yet, he managed to get all four yeses. (Okay, let’s be real, it’s not that hard).

Also to make it through was Celine Polenghi. A, “Beautiful young girl, with actually a pretty decent voice?” I’m sure Simon is seeing potential that looks like this: $$$. She got “four big fat yeses” (another shot anyone?). Bri Randall and Summer Reign with good, but unimpressive voices also went on to the next stage in the competition.

Kelly Rowland proved to be the only saving grace on the judge’s panel after young guy Ricky Clark bombed his audition. Simon cut his audition short, which immediately brought tears to the kid’s eyes. After he walked off the stage crying, Kelly ran after him to give him useful, really useful advice about his career. She wiped off his tears, and provided the endearing moment of the show.

To end the show we got two performances, one standout performance, and one stand out viral hit. Lorie Moore sang a good rendition of the same song every powerhouse voice sings, “I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston. Lorie’s voice proved to be one of the best of the show, and even though so far that means little, her performance and song choice was dull. The most entertaining part of the show came from duo, Second Hand High. The two rapped (kind of) an original song called, “Ask me to Dance” that had the audience and Kelly Rowland dancing. The two showed zero skills, except in making an incredible Internet hit. Great, the catchy chorus “you better ask me to dance,” is stuck in my head forever.

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