Olympics 2012 Closing Ceremony: The Not-So-Great Moments

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The 2012 summer Olympicsended in spectacular fashion Sunday night with a plethora of performances by some of the UK’s greatest artists.

It was an extravagant affair, filled with elaborate sets, light shows, and fun dances. Unfortunately not everything about the show went smoothly. I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but there were some not-so-great moments. Parts of the night were epic fails. No one enjoys pointing out the negative, but alas, sometimes it must be done.

Here are the five worst moments of the closing ceremony:

Madness:

Everyone knows the popular Madness song “Our House” and just about everyone in the world was singing along as they performed their 80s hit. The performance itself, however, was stale. Lead singer Dikron Tulane sounded more like he was talking than singing. Tulane’s voice also sounded very monotone. It was like he was doing a karaoke version of his own song. The picnic table dance below them was cute though.

Pet Shop Boys:

The group performed “West End Girls” and really the problem was not with the performance, it was with the costumes. They and their dancers donned some terrifying attire. The group rode around on orange bicycle chariots wearing black cone shaped hats with black robes. Their dancers wore orange hats and suits. It looked like the KKK’s version of Halloween. SCARY!

David Bowie:

The show producers decided to include a tribute to mod fashion in the closing ceremony. It was very appropriate since people often associate British culture with mod style and what better way to celebrate fashion than with Bowie’s popular song “Fashion?” It all makes sense, except David Bowie wasn’t there. Nope instead we got billboards of models and a quick fashion show. The show itself was great, we got to see Naomi Campbell and Kate Moss for crying out loud, but the song was a major tease. When you start off a performance with a montage of Bowie’s signature looks, you expect to see the man himself. Very anticlimactic.

Jessie J, Taio Cruz, Tinie Tempah:

The three performers teamed up for a fun pop and hip hop mash up. Well, at least it was supposed to be fun. Jessie J started the performance with her hit single “Price Tag,” followed by Tinie Tempah and Taio Cruz, singing “Written in the Stars,” and “Dynamite.” It wasn’t the worst performance in the world, but it all seemed a little (excuse my language) half-assed. Considering how outrageous the rest of the show was, driving around in white luxury cars doesn’t cut it. It didn’t help that Taio Cruz looked like he was about to fall asleep the entire time. Then they ruined it completely when they busted out in a cover of the Bee Gees song “You Should Be Dancing.” The three appeared mismatched next to each other. Jessie J was rocking out with her big voice while Taio Cruz looked at her like she was a little crazy. Also, the flash mob inspired dance was too predictable. They get an F for lack of effort.

Side note: Is it just me or did Jessie J look an awful lot like Katy Perry during this performance?

Russell Brand:

The eccentric comedian did a Beatles tribute, performing “I Am the Walrus.” His set was inspired by Willy Wonka and included all the quirky awesomeness of the Beatles’ more psychedelic phase. All the elements for a great performance were there, a fun theme, beautiful dancers, and a very colorful school bus, but the act just felt off. Brand sang most of the song on a megaphone, which isn’t exactly known for helping sound quality. The rest of the song may or may not have been lip-synched (the jury is still out on that one). Even if you put the sound issue aside, Brand isn’t known for his singing. The man is a comedian. Why was he chosen to sing a song by the most famous group of all time? In a word… confusing.

Now, just so we don’t end on a sour note, check out this video. Aren’t the boys from One Direction so cute?

Reach editor Frances Vega here.

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